Friday the 13th, the day of her big interview for the post of head of department. Os waited in an oak-paneled lobby. A hot flush forced her to take her jacket off. Comfort, her loyal black handbag, packed with tissues, sat by her calf. The leather sofa tilted her spine sideways and gave her back ache. As she leaned forward to ease the pain the photo of Einstein on a magazine caught her eye. Genies wept, could this be an omen? Her heart quickened as she read a script describing Einstein at his big interview.
The panel chairperson shuffles papers as Einstein sits waiting, hands on lap.
“Mr A Einstein, you have applied for this post of…I seem to have misplaced the job description. Never mind, competition is fierce and you, in particular, don’t seem to be able to focus on one subject. One moment you talk of waves then you talk of particles, then photo-electrics and relativity?”
Einstein opens his mouth but for once sound waves do not emerge. He’d underestimated the effect of dark matter but he didn’t know at the time.
The chairperson beams his most patronizing smile. He carries on. “I was rather expecting someone more focused and single-minded.”
Einstein’s bristly hair flops round his ears. He sighs and begins to heave himself out of his chair. The big interview is over. It’s back to the patent office then.
A phone rings. Chairperson answers. “Hang on. I hear one of your referees is on the line,” says the chairman.
Einstein’s hair shoots back up. Sparks fly from his bright eyes, some as particles others as waves. A few appear indeterminate, but only time will tell.
“Mr Nobel? Can it be you? Of Stockholm, moneybags?” cries the chairman, making gloating eyes of surprise at the rest of the panel. He listens to Mr Nobel for two minutes before he cuts the call. “I’m afraid we cannot possibly appoint a man supported by a bomb manufacturer. That is giving succor to terrorists.” The panel murmur in agreement. “Call in Sooty,” says the chairman, dismissing Einstein from the big interview with a delicate wave of his hand. Einstein cocks his fine head in dismay. “Yes, Albert, I’ve offered the job to Sooty.” Sooty was the local boy. He couldn’t tell one pin on an electric plug from the other and hypotheses did his head in. But they always knew where he stood. In an uncertain world, that mattered more than anything.
Os slapped the magazine shut and shoved it under the pile of fashion glossies, well out of sight. Genies wept my girl, even you couldn’t make it up. She wished she hadn’t set eyes on the damned thing. If they don’t want you the bastards will always find a way. What chance did she have when Einstein didn’t?
The oak door opened. A severe woman carrying a slim file nodded at Os. “Professor Sharp, would you like to come in?”
Os grabbed Comfort and leapt to her feet.
