Einstein, anyone can fail you at an interview

Einstein walks in.

(The panel chairperson shuffles papers).

Mr A Einstein, you have applied for this post of…I seem to have misplaced the job description. Never mind, competition is fierce and you, in particular, don’t seem to be able to focus on one subject. One moment you talk of waves then you talk of particles, from photo-electrics to family ties and relativity?

(Einstein opens his mouth but sound waves do not emerge)

(The chairperson beams his most patronising smile. He carries on). As I was rather expecting someone more single-minded I’ve offered the job to Sooty. Yes, Sooty, Sooty the caveman and honorary chimney sweep, because we will always know where he stands.

(Disappointed, Einstein heaves himself out of his chair. His bristly hair that had been standing on edge, now flops round his ears).

(A phone rings, chairperson answers) Hang on. I hear your referee is on the line says the chairman.

Mr Nobel? Of Stockholm, the dynamite man? says the chairman.

(Einstein’s face lights up, sparks fly from his bright eyes his hairs stand up again, his hair lightens up.

Mr, tell your man I don’t talk to terrorists. Call in Sooty, says the chairman, dismissing the candidate with a wave of the hand.